Confessions

The traffic in Jersey was bad. But at least there weren't any large animals in it.

Confessions is a hilarious account of Susan McCorkindale's adventure in becoming a farm girl. Complete city girl through and through, Susan allowed her husband to convince her to move to the middle of nowhere to help out his brother and to get away from the scary fast paced city life. After much convincing, Susan gives in and goes for the much sought after country life. Unfortunately for her, there isn't a Starbucks in site, DSW, salon worth a blowout, or anywhere to wear her brand new stilettos. Adjusting to living on a farm is hard enough - going from a top exec job in the heart of NYC to the backwoods of farm country.. well hard doesn't even describe the transition.

Well written and humorous throughout, this book left me laughing and begging to add a chicken coop to the land we have in PA. Maybe even some cows. Throw in a horse or two while you're at it, okay Matt? Wait- maybe I should slow down... Susan did warn me that the only grass thats greener is the stuff you're smoking.

Not only is every chapter full of parallels to my life (Irish Italian? You betcha! Sounds like Carmella Soprano when angry? Check! Big Italian ass? Uh huh! Slightly crazy? Yep!) but also they are full of great information and tidbits about farm life. In between chapters she has nifty little charts and lists, complete with a "glossary" of farm speak at the end, and footnotes scattered throughout the book. All which make the book even more comical.

Originally beginning as a side project stemming from her need to contact the "real world" of her past life, emails and blog posts began to form this memoir. Throw in a dash of her side splitting column in the local news, and you've got the recipe for a great memoir! Well worth looking at - whether you're a farm girl already or a city girl thinking about moving to the farm... or just in need of a good laugh - grab Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl, sit back and laugh out loud! Just try not to scare the cows.

The Bell Jar

From the back: "The Bell Jar chronicles the crack-up of Esther Greenwood; brilliant, beautiful, enormously talented, and successful, but slowly going under- maybe for the last time. Sylvia Plath masterfully draws the reader into Esther's breakdown with such intensity that Esther's insanity becomes completely real and even rational, as probable and accessible an experience as going to the movies. Such deep penetration into the dark and harrowing corners of the psyche is an extraordinary accomplishment and has made The Bell Jar a haunting American classic."

The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath is a "semi-autobiography", originally written under the pseudonym Victoria Lucas. Plath is know for her poetry. The Bell Jar is her one novel (all other compilations of her letters and journals were published posthumously). Shortly after its publication, Plat committed suicide by blocking off the doors and window frames in her kitchen and turning on the gas stove. It is under great debate whether she intended to fully go through with the suicide; a note stating "call Dr Gordon" suggests she wanted someone to find her before the very end, yet the autopsy reveals that Sylvia actually stuck her head inside the oven. Sylvia's suicide will always be under speculation. Literature lost an amazing artist that fateful day.

The novel is beautifully written and thrusts the reader deep into the madness of Esther. Esther describes her predicament as living under a bell jar- where the air is stale and she can't break free. Falling deeper and deeper into her own despair, Esther's trials mirror those of Sylvia. Interning at a magazine in NYC, breaking down and suicide attempts were all a part of Sylvia's life- which to me is why the novel is so well written- it boarders on memoir. Much of the novel is obviously embellished for literary reasons, but the backbones are built around the truth of Sylvia's life.

..from page 77.... "I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and one by one they plopped to the ground at my feet."

I feel that that passage might be the most inspiring and well written piece of the book. It just makes sense - especially to me - someone who not too long ago was coming off of a time wondering what to do with my career, where to move and generally wanting it all. Esther was so unsure of herself, and with so many expectations put upon her from her mother, they began to smother her and the bell jar was slowly closing in around her, leaving her gasping for breath.

Overall, I LOVED this book. I read it fairly quick (for me) while enjoying the last bit of sunshine that New York has to offer. (I swear it rained every single day at one point or another)

Coming up:

I've begun Confessions of a Counterfeit Farm Girl by former city slicker Susan McCorkindale. So far, I love it. I can relate and it is laugh out loud funny. Matt even picked it up and read the first chapter and laughed!

Also...

We are seriously beginning to look at houses - get a small move-in ready as a starter and build our own?... put a modular on our land and later build on?... continue to rent and start building on the land? Decisions decisions! At least I know what I want my INTERIOR to be. I am a total country girl. So anyway, I figured we would be starting within a year (any of the above options) so I better get started on some interior additions- like cross stitch designs. Soooo I will have a few of those that I am starting to share at some point.

Cut by Patricia McCormick

Blurb from the back: Callie cuts herself. Never too deep, never enough to die. But enough to feel the pain. Enough to feel the scream inside. Now she's at Sea Pines, a "residential treatment facility" filled with girls struggling with problems of their own. Callie doesn't want to have anything to do with them. She doesn't want to have anything to do with anyone. She won't even speak. But Callie can only stay silent for so long...

Cut is a young adult novel about a girl at a residential treatment facility- what landed her there and her life within the walls of an institution. I picked it up because I work at a RTF and a lot of my residents cut. I wanted to understand from their perspective, from inside the mind of a teenage girl who feels so much pain she knows no other way to deal with it. Granted, this is fiction, but I see it every single day and I must say- Patricia McCormick really did do her homework.

Callie runs. Callie cuts. Callie refuses to speak. Throughout the book you have to ponder why. What is she running from? What pain is she releasing from her superficial cuts? What is she hiding and how long can she hide behind her own wall of silence? Slowly we peel back the layers to find a troubled girl with a heavy burden on her shoulders. Understanding where she is coming from is easy- we all have troubles and we all have suffering in our lives. But why does she address this pain with self injurious behaviors?

Cutting releases pain for many people. Feeling the burn of skin opening and revealing the crimson color of blood. The pain of cutting relieves the internal pain because it brings that person back to reality- the reality of physical pain to numb the emotional pain taking over the mind.

Callie doesn't speak. Refusing to talk is a form of control and power. If you refuse to discuss a topic, then it can't be brought out and waved in front of your face. You don't have to face an issue if you won't talk about it... it is almost like out of sight out of mind. If i ignore the topic long enough, it will just go away. Refusing to speak is also a dissociative trait. Becoming so wrapped up in your own sorrow and pain, reliving experiences and thoughts in your mind, silence is the barrier that needs to be broken to remove yourself from the overpowering intrusive thoughts.

As readers, we struggle with Callie. We feel her pain and understand her thoughts. We feel empathy for her broken soul. Callie learns lessons throughout the book, but also teaches her audience. She teaches us to let go and move on. She teaches us about relationships and how human contact, no matter how small, can help us through our toughest times. And for those of us who have never before experienced life in a residential treatment facility, you see both the good and evil. We get a glimpse at how the population receiving treatment feels and how it looks from the inside.

All in all, I liked this book. I thought it showed cutting and pain in a new light- the protagonist takes us along for a ride. I also enjoyed how Callie experienced the RTF alone and how she experienced it with her peers. Cut is an easy read (literally speaking) but emotionally difficult, especially if you have any sort of tie to the subject. My biggest issue with the book is that it somewhat glamorizes cutting. Many books on the subject do. The blurb on the back says it all - "...never enough to die." Yes, maybe so, but I think the approach - cutting as a way to relieve the pain - is too much for young adults. Young adults are influenced by everything around them- I would hate to see this book end up in the hands of a depressed teen with little comfort and support from her family. While the book does not suggest cutting as a means to get through the pain, it does imply that cutting will release the hurt. Even with Callie landing in an RTF, a young adult going through pain and with nowhere to put it, the implied concept of cutting may be too much.

I recommend this book, but with caution. If you are allowing your teen to read it, kudos! I think they should. But make sure you take time to read it also, and discuss the book. Dig deep into the theme of pain and suffering finding a release. Communication is key.

xox

The Wednesday Sisters

The Wednesday Sisters by Meg Waite Clayton is an excellent book. It got rave reviews when it came out, and continues to have people talking. Anyone who knows me, knows that I never pick up girlie girl books. The last time I read any chick-lit was when I was in high school. Not to say that this brand of literature doesn't have its place- I just don't love reading these types of books. So, imagine my own surprise when I decided I needed a break from all of my mind benders and non-fiction novels and ended up picking up a book from the "hot summer reads" table at B&N. The tag line was what intrigued me - a story about friendship, motherhood, and writing. And it was set in the 1960s. Without giving the story away... it is a beautiful novel about friends who meet every week to grow and learn from one another. Their kids play together, their husbands work together, and they write together. It is a story about sisterhood - the bond formed between women. The book made me feel excited, enraged, happy, empathetic, disappointed, relieved, strong and a whole host of other things. I laughed, cried, and sang their praises. It was a great ride of emotions and the more I read, the more I was pulled in. I also loved the book because it discusses many notable novels and authors in literature. Books that I believe every person should read before they die (especially Jane Austen). I suggest this book to any woman - young or old, single or married, mother or not. The general pull on emotions will reach any type of woman.